An Audience of One

After being consumed and captured by the excellencies of Christ, I am immediately plunged into battle with (no, it is NOT anyone, it isn't anything external) my desires within. Like the stark contrast between the darkness of black and the brightness of white, like a bad joke, yes, to that extent. I plunged. I remember watching the video of a ship caught in a maelstrom in the midst of Japanese seas, I am that ship. Turbulent. Despaired.

"Trials reveal your maturity and also areas which you are weak in." Life, it is such a struggle. As time passes, as I look back, I remember my struggles. Right now? I am struggling even more. Problems left unsolved, with accumulated failed attempts at overcoming it start to pile up, they start to layer. Sin breeds more sin, more complexity, more denial, more faithlessness, more hopelessness - amplified godliness in my life.

When I sin, I offend God, I disgrace my Heavenly Father, I show contempt to Christ's work on the cross, the forbearance of the Alpha and Omega who chose me before the foundations of the world was laid, bring infinite pain to the Lamb that was slain - who has showered me with so much love, mercy, grace..all the excellencies of Christ, He was willing to sacrifice. God loves me deeply, genuinely and wonderfully. Too wonderful for my comprehension which is not worth a mention.

"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." John 15:5

I am nothing, have nothing, can do nothing and stand in need of all things.

My only hope and resolve is to pray for everything from now, before every action and reaction.

devotion

A woman who is devoted to the family is virtuous,

but a woman or for that matter, anyone, who devotes to the house, is foolish.