197th post: Regret

I tried to prevent tears from dropping but I contributed to a heartbreak - probably a worse one.

我真后悔

Same same but different

A well chosen and described theme! kudos to the organising team, they've really prepared so much for us, I think we have not even experienced all of it, esp the algorithm march lol, jiayi made a good decision to skip the station seeing that adrian was the the station master, he deduced that nothing good would come out of it HAHA, so xingquan challenging me to do it saying that 'eh you MP leh' will not work (it has no link btw)

I thought we really had lots of fun and definitely more time for interaction with each other. It was great for us to be able to sing praises to God outdoors as a form of witness for Him through our fellowship and I really felt like linchung was this old uncle giving us guidance at the front haha :P He raised many good points to lead us to reflect on worship and fellowship, a good start to the day's activities.

To my horror the first game had umbrellas at the starting point. I had an instant flashback of yxh 2010 (youth orientation) where I told the youths to spin 20 rounds with the umbrella, but I myself crashed to the ground at the 7th of my live demo -.-

So we went around to chiong the tasks by taking photos at mac, the trees, food village, ATM (LOL) - jiayi yiliang and langshen posed as the respective alphabets, bedok jetty, jump shot in sea etc. Many farnie things happened along the way. When we were on our return journey, we hit food village and paused for a while and realised yuhan and shixin were gone, then yiliang told us that they were at wenhao's station. I guessed it must be a food station and we should try it out, since we were already hungry by then (12+). So we found yuhan and shixin there, hahahaha only yuhan would be able to spot wenhao at such an obscure corner, plus its prob due to the fact that its a food station as well lol! The questions he asked were seriously.. insane.
1) what's xmls & yqls' b'day? (I smsed shengy, but jiemin alr told him abt the game arg >< ) -FAILED- 2) how many chairs are there in da tang? -FAILED- 3) how many air conditioners are there in church? -FAILED- 4) what are the colour tags of the hymn books in 3a, 1b, fu tang, da tang? -FAILED- (almost got it all!!!) so we rolled the dice and ate the respective quantities of the chosen 'torture food': weird oreos, wasabi + bread, spicy rolls (this was sick, i broke my water fast here and drank she cao shui lol!) and there was sushi, which was supposed to be salty but turned out to be good so my group finished it all HAHA! When I returned to our shelter, I felt a kick to be leg. (no need to guess - it was chai.) Then she stuck out her leg - got some tyre mark or stain LOL. fail la, tandem bike never bang into ppl also can kena hahaha :P side point, guowei's group was really pro. they capitalised on the word tasks to earn loadsssss of points while slacking at mac! my group chiong around then we only realised that there were more tasks in the package other than the front page -.- thanks jiayi :) or else we'd have become the feeder group -yuherng's :P then we tried to play frisbee, haha epic fail cause the sand was really scaling hot or of sorts.. we kept going to the spot which lay chai's destroyed sancastle and also to the water lol. we gave up after a while hah. then we went to spectate hweiyun getting half buried lol lol.

All in all its been a fun day and everyone was really tired and exhausted after everything.

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The following content is purely random.

December seems to be the time where people die. I mean, I see a trend, perhaps its due to the cold weather. Some say it is compounded by the absence of family members, maybe due to the holiday/festive season? I don't know, its a sad fact if that was really the case.

To a christian though, I think death would be freedom.. a nice beginning :)

Give thanks to the LORD for his love is everlasting

There is no greater sorrow than that over unreciprocated and most of all, love which is not understood.

I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.” When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. (Matthew 26:29-30)

Christ sang of his own sacrifice (hymn 118, the last of hallel) after he broke the bread and drank of the cup. What a struggle it must have been for the lamb that is to be slain.. Being omniscient he knows the humiliation and suffering which he has to undergo. He even knew about His disciple's denial of Him, His betrayal, his utter rejection by man and finally..even that of God, on the cross. What a struggle! If not for His loving kindness which is everlasting, I believe that the days of Noah would come upon all mankind for a second time. How great is God's love!

Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed? (Isaiah 53:1)

No one, with a rational mind would give their all and love someone if he/she already knew beforehand that it is destined to go to waste, unreciprocated, not understood and totally rejected. The natural defense mechanism of every human to avoid hurt would come into play, as the saying goes, 'the higher you climb, the greater the fall'.

The Son of Man will go as it has been decreed. But woe to that man who betrays him!” They began to question among themselves which of them it might be who would do this. A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. (Luke 22:22-24)

We shook our heads in disappointment when we saw the disciples' priorities and concerns when Christ predicted His sacrifice. There was really none who understood. No, we shouldn't despise the disciples with a pharisee's pride and self righteousness. We should take caution that we are vulnerable to such a grave situation, blinded by sin. We should see that this brings out God's grace all the more, to us, we - whom God has compelled to hear His call while many others made the wretched choice.

Christ bore it all alone, in submission, in faithfulness, in love - in its purest sense, for the people He came to redeem.

The greater the sorrow he was willing to undertake reflects the extent of His love.

It is precisely because He knew and was willing that made His love so unique, so deep and true.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. (Psalm 118:1)

Alive

When news of the arty shelling of South Korea by North Korea reached my ears this afternoon, I was thinking, maybe the end of the world has come. What do I do?

I did not have an answer..

We care too much about whether we live or die but we do not care what we are alive for.

Memory

Stefan: Here's your diary.
Elena: Thanks!
Stefan: Don't worry I didn't read it.
Elena: Why? Normally people would.
Stefan: I wouldn't want people to read mine either.
Elena: Oh, you keep a diary too?
Stefan: Yea memories are important, I don't want to forget them.

-Extract of a dialogue in 'vampire diaries'

Random fact: I downed the most gross drink that I ever did thus far in my life on Friday night during a buffet to celebrate loon yuan's birthday - a concoction of 7-up, WASABI & RAW egg yolk. eerrghhuckkk.

Anyway, I think its true that memories are important. It seems that the bulk of my army life so far has been a void in my collective memories, maybe partially due to the fact that info on it would be classified and not public post material. But I don't really bother thinking about army stuff when I'm out of camp either :P

Some reflections from the breaking of bread service today:
The deity of Christ
Many a times when people ponder about the deity of Christ, a vague image or sketchy picture of a throne high above and vastly beyond our reach will be formed. Or perhaps one might envisage an ineffable light, something intangible or even inanimate, cold. It brought me to think of A.W Tozer's book, 'The knowledge of the Holy'. It was a book which contained Tozer's reflections on the attribues of God based on scripture, human logic, intellect and his keen observation. The content was really rich and deep, a good book that I'd recommend :) It will surely humble most and drive you to strive to know God more because you will discover that your knowledge is so shallow and limited.

Therefore, when Christ came into the world, he said:
"Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,
but a body you prepared for me;
with burnt offerings and sin offerings
you were not pleased.
Then I said, 'Here I am—it is written about me in the scroll—
I have come to do your will, O God.' "
Hebrews 10:5-7

The richness and even mystery of the deity of Christ does not make Him appear to be cold and far off. It makes Him all the more warm, a loving saviour of sinners, a creator of immense forbearance, a Father of mercy and a source of abundant grace. Because all the fullness of God has come to the mortal realm and is seen in Christ.

He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power.After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,
Hebews 1:3

Such a holy God, who is so great, whose wisdom and understanding is unfathomable has come to save sinners.
Surely, this must be the greatest mystery and good news throughout the ages past and those which are to come and even beyond time when space and matter are long gone.

Love never dies

"Love is an act of a will." -PHLS

I agree! Love is not a feeling or impulse of the moment but something deep down that is immutable regardless of the ever changing external factors. That is why true love never dies.

fun day

I had a really fun day today!

Met brothers tiang meng, yi kang and wen hao in church at 10am today for frisbee, we lagged around till 1030 before we started lol. (ended before 1130). Although it was only the 4 of us, we had a great time throwing around 2 frisbees. There were many close shaves as the disc was en route for collision with people or vehicles! On one occasion, the frisbee bypassed me (from TM's imba throw) and landed somewhere behind me, while I jogged towards it to retrieve the disc, there was this uncle who headed towards it, picked it up and flicked it back to TM (WHILE I WAS LIKE 2m IN FRONT OF HIM @_@) diao diao diao. The rest just laughed at me and we continued anyway. So the entire hour was spent throwing the disc around, running around to catch failed throws and enjoying the morning sun (with exception of the haze..)

We then had some drinks, had a bath then lunch. Then short meeting for logistics comm for youth camp, then continuing on book store project for ~1 hr. We had YF today on womanhood (1), it felt really weird to join the session but I definitely did not regret it! It is because the subject of womanhood and manhood are constantly intertwined especially when looked at from the perspective 'in the beginning' through looking at Genesis chapters 1 to 3. Here's what's stuck in my mind: As a man - Leadership, headship, primary responsibility, protection, provision

By looking at Genesis 1-3, I also discovered that all that God created is good. "And God saw that it was good."

The emphasis in the Bible was not an overstatement! God had systematically planned and created all things for the sustenance of all man and still sustains all things. Not only does God provide for the physical needs of man. He provides for the emotional and spiritual needs of man, whom is created in image and likeness. God created a suitable helper for Adam because it was not good for him to be alone. God really had everything in mind! God knew that Adam did not know what he really needed and He showed him! Many a times in life, we encounter the same circumstance.

In the gospel books, we often see people from all walks of life asking Jesus questions, Jews, gentiles, pharisees, scribes etc. But many a time Christ did not answer their questions directly, perhaps it could be that we are asking the wrong questions? Our 'needs' or 'questions' may just be our perceived needs and questions. God alone knows what we really need, that is why we ought to rejoice in Him and be satisfied and content in Him :)

God is good :)

After YF, I had dinner with kenny, jay chua and tianmeng at the hawker. Had sambal fried rice with 2 poh piahs (fei lou..) I have a really big appetite, maybe cause im not stressed haha. In camp I only eat very little, usually I only finish left than half of the portion of rice issued.. (Maybe its partially due to the quality of food served :P) So we continued to tc a bit after our meal and then decided to have ice cream. Then we decided to go to NTUC to purchase ice cream hahahhaa. This is where farnie happens.

We looked around and saw ... crunch! Yum. The packet contained 4 sticks of ice cream, just nice for the 4 of us! It costed only $4 so we bought it without any hesitation hahaha.. Hurriedly opened the package, distributed the ice cream. Junwei was kinda fast so when he turned around I saw him holding on to the ice cream stick, so I thought WA! SO FAST?! Then I observed that he was wearing a really bewildered facial expression. He stared at the stick for a few seconds and said, "maybe I pulled out the stick too fast." - We realised that the ice cream was still in the package cause the inside was melted. LOL

Tianmeng started walking away hurriedly. I thought, "wa. so anxious to get a seat?!" Thats not the point, kenny and I started laughing madly when we saw where he stopped - the green bin LOL

It was cause his ice cream had also melted and collapsed from the stick, so it was kinda flowing out and yea the melted ice cream sort of flooded the bin's compartment to store cigarette butts hahaha should have taken a photo of it man! Reallyy funny end to the day.

QT was good, God spoke to me really directly through one verse back there. Main message - speech, humility, fear of God.

Headache

I have zero tolerance for nagging. These years of nagging has not produced in me patience but increased irritability, rebelliousness and a whole load of frustration. ah. crap. sigh. things never seem to change.

it was all in the past

I tried a new route home from camp today, bus svc 858 to khatib then train to queenstown... reached home 20mins earlier!! I must be pretty slow to discover this faster alterative route only after 10 months in the unit lol. However the travelling time still depends on traffic conditions and waiting time, so it really depends.

On my walk home from the mrt station, I bought myself a cheese pancake from mr bean (just to break the $50 note which my mum instructed me to do so in the morning, haha!) I was walking up the stairs when the corner of my eye caught sight of a grey van. It looked like those manufactured in malaysia with an old design, having this retro look, it looked like the van which my dad drove when I was young. Slowed down my pace to gaze at the van for a longer time, memories flashed into my mind of the times which I spent with my dad.

I remember once when papa and I went out, both of us hopped on the van. (When I was young I really stuck to papa like glue hah, especially during visits to relatives' house or when we were at places which I was unfamiliar with.) I guess its cause of the sense of security which a father gives, the child feels safe just by simply being around the father :) Then, my dad stated matter-of-factly, "When you grow up, you won't stick to me like you do now." I retorted immediately, "No! I'll still want to have you around wherever I go!"

I believe this conversation took place when I was still in primary school when my dad still drove the van. I really enjoy the wind (we usually wind down the windows instead of using the air con) and the slightly bumpy ride. In fact, when I take a ride in a full air conditioned and very stable car, I will get kinda car sick :S

That was ~10 years ago. 5 years ago, we said our goodbyes and by the abundant, amazing and all sufficient grace of God my family is sustained. It did not take 10 years for me to change. It was only a few years into secondary school that I had a change of mindset, I wanted privacy, I did not want to share my life with my parents. Oddly, this reminded me of Peter's denial of Christ and his initial stubborness to Christ. While this does bear resemblence to that to a certain degree, its not my emphasis in this post.

I have changed. For better or for worse? I think for worse >> better.

Papa asked me once when I was in the lift, "how will you feel when I pass on?" I remembered that I paused, was really caught off guard by that question, but answered him before the lift rached the 20th storey, "I will be very sad lo."

Papa was one who had foresight, who was always preparing me for the future because he understood the frailness and vulnerability of life. He was a great man, in my sight.

I still have many questions for you, dad.

Thanksgiving

Attended the Literature ministry thanksgiving session from 1pm - 3.30pm today. When hcls approached me to share 2 weeks ago (or was it last week? i can't really recall..) I was like, NO. I am a small fry etc.. that kinda thing. Thinking back I am glad God had not punished me there and then for not being willing to give thanks! After some sort of counselling from hcls that the sharing was basically to give thanks and how I have benefited from serving God, I decided to share.

I did not regret my decision but instead I prayed that the Lord would cause me not to be nervous but instead be joyful to share of God's blessings and amazing work which I have experienced in the ministry. He really strengthened me during the sharing!

I guess my sharing was not about the effort I had put in or the work I had accomplished, those are far far and way way too insignificant to what God had done for me and besides what I can do is solely a result of the God's enabling, hence nothing of my own credit. Firstly, I have to thank God for allowing me to serve Him. That in itself is already a mind blowing fact! I was once a sinner but am now accorded the righteousness of Christ and am now able to serve the Holy God.. Has the origin of all wisdom, the creator of the heavens and earth, which is so manifest with His unfathomable wisdom a lack of common sense or logic? Why would He want to have anything to do at all with His created being who has now become rebellious, ungrateful and utterly depraved? The only reason for all that Christ has done for us, His sacrifice to pay for the penalty of our sins is but one - love. God is love. I truly give thanks to God in my heart for His love for one as unworthy as myself.

I also shared 2 stories with my fellow laborers in the Literature ministry.
1) I was tidying up the bookshelf on a Sunday afternoon, when an adult male came to me and asked for a recommendation for a book for a new believer. I recommended him the book 要道琐谈 and then we ended the conversation after he thanked me and took the book. That night, xmls contacted me to ask if I had talked to a man this afternoon and I replied, yep. She then told me that the man called up the church and told her about me and then xmls had the opportunity to talk to him about the spiritual problems which he encountered. I think it is indeed God's blessing that He uses even such simple means to create an opportunity for someone to come into contact with the gospel and to experience Him.

2) I was on duty, I think on a Saturday night, was off my shift and resting, feeling very drained already. Brother tian meng sms-ed me that there was this guy who went to the book shelf to take a book to read, and then he heard the evangelistic meeting being broadcasted through the speaker and he headed to the hall to hear the message! I think it is really amazing how God arranges for such precision in opprtunity and timing to bring someone to hear His word.

Many a times, I go for tracting and come back, being just relieved that the word of God has been revealed to those recipients of the tracts and thinking that it was hard work just to get the word of God out there. Now I realise that I have been too narrow minded in thinking of the way which the Almighty God works!

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
(Isaiah 55:8-9)

Indeed, the Lord works in ways which are humanely impossible to act upon nor the mind being able to conceive of!

It is a great comfort to know that the surety of the effectiveness of God's work and the accomplishment of His will lies not on feeble man but entirely on the Almighty God!

nothing

I can protect nothing at all.

How much I care, value and love does not mean anything at all. I am powerless.

The gospel

At one point of time or another, one will come to know something that will be everything to him/her.

He gave us the option to finish the story

Simple words, deep theology, unfathomable love.

I shall continue on this post!

blocked

After a swim on Saturday morning, my air passages are blocked.. I can't hear well, can't smell much (apparently my camp smelled of cow dung, lucky me!) AND I'm also losing my sense of taste! lol I can barely taste 50% of the sweetness of a fruit tips sweet.. and.. chilli has no effect on me (I reaslised during dinner). gg. hope panadol flu max does its job.. this post is totally random.

hope vs expectations

I told them, "I hope you understand, but I don't expect you to understand."

There will be times in life when one has to make decisions that will be hard for others to understand. One will hope for others to understand, but may not expect them to. But you got to make those decisions anyway, if those are the right things to be done and has to be done.

I cannot be what I am not

My fist ain't iron,
neither is my heart steel,
I can't do this.

friend vs companion

I guess one of the main takeaways for me during yesterday's session was that of friendship vs companionship. In our journey of life as a christian, we have both secular friends and also brothers and sisters in Christ. We can have many friends, a group of good friends, but how many are our companions? I guess that the greatest difference is that as friends they will be there with you to share moments in your life, some are good times others are bad, as companions, they will be there to walk those moments with you.

The word 'walk' used as a verb suggests that a companion is not only present to provide company (as the chinese translation of companion suggests) but also that concious effort is put in, action is taken for the well being of the fellow companion due to the nature of the close relationship and affection for each other.

Its such a blessing that God created Eve for Adam and that no christian is a lone wolf but that we're all part of Christ's body the church and we have fellow brethren. God is so thoughtful..God is good :)


How good and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in unity!

It is like precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron's beard,
down upon the collar of his robes.

It is as if the dew of Hermon
were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the LORD bestows his blessing,
even life forevermore.

Psalms 133

Hope that cannot be extinguished

After my morning run, I came home to have my mini breakfast, a packet of mango isojoy dessert. Halfway through, my neighbour came by and called for my mum.
She told her, "My mum has gone home."
This piece of news was something that we were expecting for the last week. This sister (my neighbour) is probably known by many in FCF. "
She continued, "It was about 2a.m. in the morning, she passed on peacefully. We were singing hymns with her and we were at the hymn 'Safe in the arms of Jesus', she was severely ill for the past week such that she could not open her eyes for the past few days. But at that point in time, she managed to open her eyes, look at us before leaving."
This sister exuberated the peace and joy of God even though her voice broke at one point in time during the conversation. What a strong testimony, what a strong encouragement, what a witness to all that Christ has triumphed over death, where we may proclaim, "where is your sting, o death?" There will be sorrow but no fear, there will tears but they shall be wiped dry, there will be a sense of loss but never a loss of hope.

5 years ago, there was a similar situation. Dad was on morphine, slipped into a coma, couldn't eat or drink. Couldn't even look me in the eye. All I could do was hold his hand, pray and read the Bible to him. Dont misunderstand me, that is a great blessing, those were moments of deepest fellowship I had with my dad and I thank God for them, prayer together with scripture were also the most powerful tools through which the holy Spirit used to speak and work in both my dad and myself. Probably, an hour or so before he left, I was praying with him after reading the first part of John 14. He looked me in the eye, he teared, his sunken face, his mortal body which has gone through much toil and fatigue, it was all coming to an end. My dad's prayer throughout his illness was not for healing but that God's will be done and that if it is His will for him to go, it will be an amiable parting. Its amazing to see how God takes care of his people, although they pass on at early hours, times when people are usually asleep, He usually give loved ones a sense of when they are leaving and we get to see and talk to them one last time before we say our last goodbyes. Goodbyes that are but temporal but we shall gather in heaven in the presence on God one day :) God is gracious, God is merciful, God is gracious from ages past, today and forever more. Praise be to God!

going home

My mind seemed to be in quite a still state after work today :)
Today was pretty hectic, was at 3 different camps accomplishing different tasks, it was a rush! At least I enjoyed lunch though, had chicken, carrots and long beans, yum. As usual, I will skip work cause its best not to post anything related to it at all.

I was on my way home today, had all the right elements to a perfect journey back home, was feeling very relaxed and felt really cheerful :) The past few days was all hustle and bustle even when I reached home I couldn't really relax or catch my breath, phone is always busy ><
I really thank God that I had a really good night's rest last night! Anyway, yea I was walking home then I decided to buy some dessert back home, tau suan for sis and black sesame for myself, ahh shiok when accompanied with spaghetti for dinner :) While queuing up to get my dessert, I suddenly thought, how nice it'd be if I could settle down in life right now, enjoy some family warmth, be with my loved ones. It's quite a worry free thought.. But ya know, such moments of bliss are usually short lived. We slog our entire day and are left with just those few hours of rest. We toil our entire lives just for the fairytale endings which we hope for, we fight with every ounce of our energy for what we belive is worth fighting for..but it may be those very things which we hope in that bring us the greatest disappointment.

The above are just some thoughts which suddenly came to mind. Anyway I should really remember that my stay here is temporal & I should not work and strive for that which is temporal and rest my hope in that, but rather on things of eternity. I know this, but have not acknowledged it with my heart..

how how how..

Its either that you totally know nuts about body language or you simply refuse to understand anything about it. Time? You've got more than enough time.

Some old problems never seem to go away, perhaps its because I have been keeping silent. Yea, sure that ensures that the problem does not escalate but at the end of the day, it still remains. In other words? I'm running away from facing it. Hah, I really do not realise that until now. But, I really do not know how to solve it. This hurdle, this mountain is placed in my life by God. To run away from it is really in fact, me trying to be a Jonah. Just experienced how sin can blind and cripple my ability to love as well..

How?

Alone

Yawn, a mind with many cares prevents one from sleeping no matter how tired he is! Been very busy recently with army and church plus family matters filling in the gaps.. The past week was spent ban jia-ing (shifting house, in this case, base). It was definitely a great learning experience for me to come up with the preparation work, liasing, planning, executing of stuff. Its been very hectic though, very draining! (For my handphone as well, from full batt to flat before end of the day on fri! :O)

Many a times when im tired, i just wanna be alone. When I do that, im unconciously isolating myself from everyone else, including God, especially God. I isolate my thoughts, my plans, the inclinations of my heart from His.. Anyway this is just an application of what I've been reminded of in church today that when Christ was about to be crucified, he suffered alone, with none of his disciples being willing or able to share his burden. I hope I will be able to remember Christ's love for us through the pain that He was willing to bear for us and love Him more, to share in His thoughts, plans, His will.

imma ping pong ball

I am beginning to really feel like a ping pong ball.

But like what I told my mum, sis and some others, problems always exist and will never stop emerging, what matters is how I go about facing, solving and overcoming it.

I've had a nice day

What a nice day! Except for the fact that it started out bad, but as chai says, "when the day starts out bad, smile, cause it's only gonna get better!"

It started out bad because of IPPT. Due to the rain, we had the static stations indoor and for the first time I jumped a distance of >225cm in like at least half a year! (I hit 230cm :O), everything else went great, until the 2.4km run.
I started off well with a good speed, maintaining the 3rd/4th position. So there was this loop where I was supposed to run around 3x before heading off to the ending point for the run. At 9mins30s when I finished the loop (my 3rd which I thought was my 2nd only!) I continued to make another loop, by this time I suddenly lost sight of the 3 dudes in front of me and I began to lap the last few runners, felt weird but I continued anyway. The few dudes taking note of the number tags of those running by also did not sound out anything to me, except for the safety officer saying jiayou, was really nice of him and I thanked him for that :) When I was finishing my last loop, I saw that many were heading towards the end point which should NOT be the case, that was when I knew I was in trouble...sprinted to the end point and clocked a timing of 13mins10s and I knew what had happened, I ran an extra round D: D: D: which meant I ran ~3.2km. ahhhhhhhh it was so lame and dumb of me...Anyway I'll chiong for my next IPPT in August -.-

After IPPT, I went home to enjoy my pm off. Its a good thing that ayer rajah camp's really near my house :) xmls jio-ed my granpa and myself to eat at holland v, I secretly thought that we were going to crystal jade (the xlb heaven) and when we cabbed there, it was indeed the intended location! haha but after some consideration, we decided to head to the branch which sells dim sum instead as it suits the appetite of the elderly more. The place really felt like Guangzhou to me cause they could all converse in cantonese and their service standards were excellent. There was this nice lady sitting beside our table who started talking to us about food then when she saw us praying also mentioned that she was from a presbyterian church. She even donated 2/3 of her plate of roasted pork (which is IMBA btw) to us because she did not want to waste the leftovers, apparently she is some kind of tai tai of the sorts.

xmls ordered a spread! There was chicken feet (which she told me was phoenix claws in mandarin & confused me utterly), siew mai, prawn dumplings, char siew buns, pork porridge and IMBA noodles! She had a good chat with my grandpa and I found out a lot more as well, she really has a way of engaging the elderly and is really caring. I thank God for such a caring teacher like her who often showers my family with care and love! It is through people like that that Christ's love is demonstrated in everyday life and reminds me to also love my brothers and sisters & family in the same way because we are in Christ :)

After the really nice meal, we sent grandpa home. I realised that when age really catches up with a person, a failing memory and ability to focus or even carry on with a conversation is quite a sad fact of life. Because xmls tried really hard but it was age, at the end of the day which obstructed us from having further and deeper fellowship in spirit.. Was glad that my grandpa had a good time though, he was all smiles :D

On our way to church to discuss the plans for the book store, xmls told me something which was really thought provoking. She mentioned that whhenever she saw the flowers, especially those which grew out of the cracks of walls or drains where there is no soil, she learns not to worry. Cause she was asking abt my family and whether I'm stressed as the eldest son, I said, more or less a bit.. but whatever God places in my life, it is my lesson to learn, depend on Him and overcome. It was indeed a beautiful reminder to see God's power in His creation, in nature and more so when I recall to mind His faithfulness, abundant grace and unfailing lovingkindness. Praise be to God!

loserific fail!

Fail 1: I headed to mindef to make some payment, only to realise I required a report, which I did not have with me. Headed back to sel camp...
Fail 2: Short of cash, went to the ATM, "Sorry, this ATM is temporarily out of service." (haha this was on the news as well, I thought it was a coincidence when I heard it on radio!)
Fail 3: I rushed for the train and thought I was just in time, then some dude exited so I had to halt for a moment and in that moment the train door closed WEAH!
Fail 4: Went for a run after reaching home.. after running for some time I realised I was headed in the wrong direction towards c'wealth. keblakang pu-seng!
Fail 5: After getting my directions right, I realised my choice of running route was really crappy. I was training for speed and was running beside the road, so the vehicle exhaust overwhelmed me pretty quickly esp when I was breathing heavily after the first 5-6 mins of sprinting..
Fail 6: Intended to train for SBJ at one of the fitness corners near one of the HDB clusters at tiong. But when I reached, there were 2 rows of kids sitting beside the SBJ mat. UH, it'd be so embarassing to train in front of them.. with head hung low, I turned back.. D:
Fail 7: Intended to run the park connector which was approximately 2km long to test my speed. Realised there were some road works & construction. emo.

Just for laughs

continued..

PS: eh john, there's another green snake in camp, it just entered into our workshop.
(stops there)
(I looked at him, paused)
Me: Er, sir, so you want me to kill it is it?
(super sacarstic)
PS: Ya la! You killed the small one, now the big one come for revenge!
-_-
Me in my mind: hana hana...

whee tmr is Friday :)



"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

John vs seletar snakes

Round 1
Draw!
John : Black cobra
0-0

Round 2
Win!
John : tiny 6 inch, 5mm wide tree snake (light brown with some blue&white pattern)
1-0

I really do have an affinity for snakes. For both encounters the snakes were all within close proximity -.- The 2nd encounter was a real joke, I didn't even realise it was just under the chair beside the desk I was working on until my boss told me when I approached it. The snake is really small sized, at the first look it really looked like a portion of a cable tie or just a wire..
I stomped on it anyway... chai says im bad and thats gross :(
But I don't want it to grow up then threaten me or my guys in camp!

I do not know

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich. (2 corinthians 8:9)

Although I booked a cab in advance I still did not manage to reach for the breaking of bread (BOB) service on time but I was like a lot earlier than last week though, lol. I reached just in time for the breaking of bread last week, this week I reached on the singing of the 2nd hymn, 253. Sian, after all that chionging, the bath I took before I left camp became totally pointless -.-

I thought that the sermon for BOB on Sunday was really good though. The verse quoted above was the key verse of the sermon, God's grace was the theme. Pastor reminded us of God's grace, that the plan of salvation, the saviour and the execution of salvation was altogether an amazing thing, something that is difficult or perhaps impossible for me to comprehend or claim to understand.

So, as we broke the bread and partake in the cup (or what is referred to as the holy communion), I began to reflect on God's grace toward me and what "for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich." means to me.

These ran through my mind:
God became flesh,
God came from heaven to the mortal world,
An omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient "concealed" within a mortal body,
The Holy became sin itself,
The One whose glory none could withstand, endured humiliation,
The King of kings wore a crown of thorns,
Love, who is God Himself, was scorned by those he came to save,
The master of life became the lamb that was slain.

Christ emptied Himself for us is by no means an understatement. He gave up more than His life, He really gave us His all. That move in itself is something that I can really never comprehend. Much less His sacrifice because a mere mortal like me cannot fully understand how or what God really is. I mean, ok, God is Holy. But I cannot comprehend the total absence of sin and God's perfection, its something that is too wonderful for me to understand. Haha I cannot even express my idea clearly in words..

I really do not understand, but what I do know with all my heart is that He has paid my ransom.
The vast difference between what I understand of what Christ has done for me and that which He has actually done for me really just highlights God's amazing grace. Praise the LORD!

rare sight

On my way back home, I caught sight of a pigeon, a pretty fat one, stoning beside the life under my void deck. Its width is like slightly larger than that of a tennis ball. So its full body is like the size of 3 tennis balls connected together. It was really stoned, it did not move at all as I approached it oO so I pressed the lift anyway, when the lift arrived, it suddenly jerked and its eyes opened, so cute haha!

Time to sleep now, I was really sleepy at work today because of the previous late night and a series of days without much sleep due to shift work..Can't owl as good as adrian :(
I'm gonna miss music ministry retreat, youth ministry meeting and YF tomorrow, sigh.

Re-baptism?

Last Sunday was a joyous occasion when 14 brothers and sisters were baptised and 5 transferred membership! It is indeed a joy to witness that many brothers and sisters willing to profess their faith and be a testimony for the LORD in front of the congregation. I hope that this decision was not influenced by everyone else though.

Throughout these few months, there was this question that I was pondering about.

Should I be re-baptised?

Fortunately after the interview and advise given by the church leaders and after prayer, I came to a decision. I decided not to be re-baptised. In my previous church, Mt Gerizim BP Church, I was baptised through a ceremony called 滴礼, it is sort of a partial water baptism because the ceremony only involves sprinkling of water and not total submersion in the water, which is water baptism, the method which FCF practises.

Here is how I came up with my decision, so that hopefully I can clear any doubts and not be a stumbling block.

Firstly, before one takes an action, one has to consider one's intention and purpose. Doing something for the sake of doing it is pointless, it is as what ecclesiastes calls it, vanity. What then are the purposes of baptism? The purposes of baptism are:

1) Obedience to the Lord's command

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew (28:19-20)

2) A public profession of one's faith

3) Symbolic of identifying with Christ's death, burial and resurrection

4) Expressing the resolve to lead a new life in Christ

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with,that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him.The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. (Romans 6:1-10)

A baptism with these purposes in mind will be a meaningful one. These however have to come with several presuppositions. One has to first be clear of his or her salvation. I have been baptised before, was clear about my salvation (I was 12 then) and also clear of the purposes of baptism because I also went through a similar baptism bible class. Thus, a re-baptism would not be meaningful in this aspect because my previous baptism was one that was carried out with a clear mind and it was completed when my pastor baptised me in the name of the Holy Father, the Holy Son and the Holy Spirit. A re-baptism does not bring out any of the purposes of baptism.

A common speculation would be that I would be too young to make a clear decision for myself at such a tender age. Such a speculation was probably formulated due to a 'trend' of baptism in church where only those who are youths or older would be more strongly encouraged to be baptised and it is a norm for only those who are youths or older to be baptised. I believe that age is definitely not a requirement to make major decisions such as that of accepting Christ and getting baptised. As long as one is old enough to think and make his or her own decision, age is not of concern. One's decision should be made before God, not yielding to man's opinion.

Judging according to man's standards is something that will stumble others. God sees the heart of all man.

A point that is strong on the apparent is that re-baptism is better, in terms of submitting to the Lord's teaching especially because the submersion brings out the symbolic meaning of death, burial and resurrection with Christ more holistically with water baptism than with that of partial water baptism. Certain questions need to be asked to carefully examine what this would mean.

What will re-baptism mean?

In place of baptism, which would mean a public profession of my faith; a re-baptism would mean a public denunciation of my previous baptism of whom God and the congregation are witnesses to. That ought not to be the case! 'I baptise you in the name of the Holy Father, the Holy Son and of the Holy Spirit' are words not to be taken casually! Those are words said before God and are binding.

I cannot be flippant in making such a decision, disregarding God's faithfulness. He sees and knows my heart, thus I should not yield to external pressures. I would rather suffer the speculation of others than numb my conscience and make a wrong decision which will definitely be offensive to God and cause unrest and absence of peace in my heart.

What about submission to Christ's teaching? Isn't water baptism more accurate in keeping with the execution of Christ's teachings?

This is a valid question. The purpose of the ceremony is more important than its execution. Is the execution of the ceremony of baptism unimportant then? It still is, it ought to bring out the meaning of baptism and I concede that my previous church's administration of this is not as good as that of water baptism. Heart intentions are vital, physical actions taken correspond to them. Just like when the Samaritan woman debated with Christ on the location of worship, Christ emphasised that what was vital is the knowledge of the object of worship. God wants true worshippers, those who worship in spirit and in truth.

To conclude, re-baptism is not not purposeful as it does not bring out the purposes of baptism. Submission then is also not a problem because I have already submitted to Christ's teaching in my baptism. Submission is then a matter of questioning my heart intentions and whether they match those of the teachings of God's word.

Every decision ought not to be made primarily to gain man's favour, but to gain God's favour.

Submission to Christ is therefore in this case emptying one's reasoning, be it biased or under influence and to let the Holy Spirit guide through His Word, then being convicted of the Holy Spirit's guidance, put it into action, for the glory of God.

An important lesson

I am really thankful for today's reminder and important lesson on tithing.

Our attitudes towards 'our' wealth which is in our possession ought not to be ownership, but rather, stewardship. The same applies to life and what God has given me.

Life and resources are limited or in economic terms, scarce.

The demand from what needs to be done is tremendous, putting enormous pressure on the very limited and tight supply.. Treasure and utilize life! Stop existing & indulging in pleasures which are empty and will come to pass quickly!

Happening

Life has been very eventful and happening since my last post and I am back to blog about incidences which have occurred during this period of time which I feel are of significance in my life!

Incident 1: Cobra attack near miss

I was doing up the schedule for IPPT for my guys in the platoon at a wooden bench table near my workplace. While deep in thought, seetoh walked past from behind me and said, "John, ok, do not panic. Just listen to me, get your right leg out slowly, now your left, slowly." (Throughout this I was just obedient and did not think too much.. I just felt very ???)

When I got myself out and up from the wooden bench, seetoh then pointed to the bottom of the bench where I was sitting and to my horror, there was a black snake with its head showing in between the 2 wooden planks of the wooden structure! Immediately, I went to get my guys to get wooden sticks and called superiors for permission to kill the snake (I feared for the safety of my guys too). A short while later when I came into visual contact with the snake again, I saw for myself the full length of the snake. It was slightly less than 1.5m, with its hood spread out, meaning... what we encountered is a cobra -_-

By this time everyone was apprehensive about attempting to kill or capture the animal intruder.. It hastily made its escape beyond our compound. It was only after the incident that I realised how close I was to REAL danger, the cobra was like less than 15 cam away from me!

Through this incident, I think what I have learnt is that you cannot think what you have experienced in life thus far is probably the worst, you cannot be hasty to conclude that an experience which you have encountered is already a 'worst case scenario'. Possibilities are limitless! I can be maxed out in stress at one point in time, the next moment I will be maxed out in physical suffering but coming right up I can be just a heartbeat away from death! In conclusion, one cannot be narrow in our view towards life..

As christians, we do not know what tomorrow brings but what is vital is that we direct our focus to the one whom we know holds tomorrow.

Incident 2: Detention

I cannot elaborate much on this. My friends got into trouble with the law and I had to handcuff them myself. That sucked. Really BIG time.

I wonder to myself, if I am not diligent and fail to do my part for the salvation of those whom God has entrusted me with, those around me, I would be playing the role I played on that that day, escorting my friend to punishment, personally contributing to his loss of freedom.

I also reflected about the issue of moral courage. The nature of my job requires me to act firmly, fairly and without fear or favour. I did that in this incident, but it really bothered me a lot.. Being in such a position, I can see things with a larger view, see things deeper in some aspects, unfortunately, it is the sin of humans which I get to see in greater depth. Urgh, the abominable manifestation of sin.

I made up my mind that one of my objectives of wanting to be a commander was to change the way how soldiers are being managed, instead of commanding fear I wanted to talk sense into people to command respect. I failed, treating humans badly would would equate to reaping a negative response, treating humans well would do the same, they would just take advantage of you and go further in their misdeeds. The problem remains, humans...all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. So I guess, what needs to be done has to be done after all..

成长

When what has been heard and learnt

becomes what you internalize, experience and testify to,

thats when you grow.

我 从 前 风 闻 有 你 ， 现 在 亲 眼 看 见 你 。

God is faithful

Cirumstances can change,

people can change,

plans can change,

events can change &

objects can change.

All these can change just as 'randomly' as the weather changes.

However, I am thankful that the truth remains unchanged in the face of unending change.

God remains unchanged, he remains holy, just, almighty, sovereign, merciful, loving and faithful.

That is one comforting fact!

Considering the fact of how much I have changed, almost teleporting between the extremes of spiritual states and everything around me has changed so rapidly throughout these years which are but like a watch in the night. It gives me peace, rest, hope and joy to know for sure that my hope placed in the Lord cannot change.

There were times when I was unfaithful and even times where I utterly lost hope.

However, my faithful God and shepherd of my soul did not abandon me to decay in sin and to its bitter grave. My God loved me, He saw my helplessness and He brought me out of despair, strengthened and revived me with His word.

My God loves me beyond what I can comprehend, He knows things too wonderful for me to know.

Such a God is mine, who does not change since yesterday, today and forevermore...

The storm may come, the tempest may arise but the sovereign Lord, El Shaddai remains in control over all.

The days of the blameless are known to the LORD, and their inheritance will endure forever.In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty. (Psalms 37: 18-19)

Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
there is a future for the man of peace.But all sinners will be destroyed; the future of the wicked will be cut off. The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. The LORD helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him. (Psalms 37:37-40)

A concoction of a consecrated heart and a consecrated will

can bring one to experience the grace and faithfulness of the Almighty God through prayer.

How great is the power of prayer!

shooting star

I'd name the shooting star "hope".

sometimes

There is such a saying,
"sometimes, it would be better if you do not know a person in too much depth."

Well I guess its true, with emphasis on sometimes.
After all, each man is but a wretched sinner and a christian is one saved by grace.
The heart is indeed deceitful above all things.
The blinding effect of sin is immense...and it cannot be broken through except by the illumination of the Holy Spirit. Conversely, if the problem of sin cannot be solved, it creates a maelstrom which shipwrecks the soul landing it in an eternal abyss of darkness.

GodManLifeSinGriefWrathFearWisdomLove

The heart of the matter...?

Then I ask, what is love?
And I ask, how to love?


All I did in the past was to chuck things aside, I never got past them, im a fool.

maybe

This time, a potential trial seems to be surfacing at an appropriate time and targetted at a pivotal aspect of my life. Will this be fatal or crucial?

together

I had a good weekend this time round! Enjoying the last few remaining hours of it.. A week like that where I can have both sat and sun free will be a rarity for the next year.
Having YF on the sat afternoon, that time of quietening before God, seeking Him, learning His Word, supporting one another through prayer, having interesting chats over meals.. Its a sweet time.

Same for Sunday's congregational worship. Today's sermon was really rich and powerful, on numbers 13 and 14. I guess it was impressed on us by the Holy spirit because of recent events and very real issues which we face, especially when we talk about having a new start in leading the life of a Nazirite.

Trials are neccessary to make us grow and after 19 years of existence in the mortal relam, I can finally say that I truly thank God for trials. It is really really not easy to experience the process of trials, it always hurts cause something or some part of us must be destroyed so that someting new may be created, so that our hearts may be remoulded.

Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. John 1:23-25

Good reminder through pastor huang's 'famous phrase' that the problem is not the problem, the problem is with how people go about overcoming the problem.
God gives trials and God disciplines His children, but if we remain faithless and stubborn and only remain at the infant state of 'leaving egypt' and being stiff necked to refuse to 'enter into canaan'... we will take the '40 years route' instead of the 'few days route'.
Without faith, trials stay as sufferings and leads to misery.
Faith turns sufferings into a cross.
Faith gives an inner meaning to what would otherwise be experienced as meaningless. -quoted

Besides, trials shape a person to be what God would have him/her be. It will be along God's will. Sometimes I wonder how childish and wayward I would have been if God had not placed difficulties in my life for me to make me wake up my idea.
Trials do not obstruct but rather they aid one in conforming with the will of God in life.

In the passage, the lessons dervied can be segmented into the following:
The exploration: The pursuit for truth is directional, there is a why for everything.

The reports: What's really new? Isn't every problem which we face common difficulties which every human faces? In fact, there are bound to be those having cirumcstances more dire than ours on this sunny and peaceful island. Do we see the promised end and trust in God's almighty hand or do we see the dismal picture of what stands between both --- which really is merely our unbelief?

The reports: Focus on he problems itself brings exaggerations, misses out on the big pictre, downplays the ability and sovereignty of God and may even bring one down to his/her knees due to the sheer apparent immensity to surrender without a fight!
A christian ought to have their purpose in life in mind and pursue it at all costs, which with God's grace we may be able to overcome. A christian ought to fear, love, rely and depend on God.
God is faithful.

Break and remould,
painful and tedious it may be,
through grace,
a worthy vessel would I then be in the hands of the Master.

shift work

Shift work:
duty (24hr)
duty off (24hr)
standby (0800-1730hrs)
This kinda schedule is like making me feel permanently tired no matter what, heh.
Even rest days are used to sort of recuperate. I am starting to become really nocturnal!

Sola Gracia Dei

I think I have already got to think out of the circle which entrapped me emotionally.

Ultimately, my allegiance and loyalty is not pledged to any one person or organisation or idealogy but to God and God alone.
Life was never about me, neither is all that I do, nor have done and is to be done.

A study of Esther's life brought me to the realisation of many truths.
Firstly, God has provided for her and paved her way from being under the care of her parents, Mordecai, Hegai and all the way till she was crowned queen of king Ahasuerus. Even before a human is conceived God has planned for and will watch over the elect's life.

Secondly, the power of seeking after God (though request for the exiled Israelites to fast) has radically transformed her life. It has brought about a build up in her character and given her insight into God's purpose, however, it primarily brought about the change in her through her yielding of her heart to be conformed to God's will. Mordecai's counsel enlightened Esther not to fixate her eyes on the problems imminent but place her hope in the answer to all --- God Himself, God's sovereignty, God's omnipotence, God's love and sure deliverance.

Thirdly, as a follow up to the second point is that God has included so called biographies of the lives of man to show us how God works through each individual's life in unique ways with unchanging faithfulness and character. God has prepared each one of us through life's experiences to meet with the next. God places specific people in specific circumstances to play specific roles for the accomplishment of His good purposes. How can man respond but exclaim, "El Shaddai, your paths are beyond tracing out! Your wisdom is infinite!"

Job's response to his severe trial was:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

He did not consider any of his possesions, nor kin, nor health, nor welfare, nor personal right to be his!

In this life, nothing is mine but the surety of God's promises given which I have claimed.
I belong to Him and He to me.

Through this trial I will willingly give up this ten cents worth and press on ahead to claim the infinite riches which Christ has promised.

Though it will hurt, but may God give me a heart to seek Him,
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

May God's word take effect in my life that it may not be in vain in the face of Christ's compelling, deep, enduring, everlasting, unfathomable love.

"As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.

Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."

It was, is and never will be about me.

Sola Gracia Dei.

Scapegoat

I pledged my allegiance and sworn my loyalty.
All I got was manipulation, contempt and betrayal.

I am thinking in circles.

YF cookout!

The youths had a great time at the field outside jiemin's house today.
We started off first by having papers with names of biblical characters written on it to be pasted on our backs..which chai tipped me off by saying, "must give hongen a hard one!" so I just casually guessed that it would be melchizedek, and I was right, LOL.
(after asking 3 qns: 1) 4 words? 2) 1st word is 麦？　3) 2nd word is 基?)
We sang hymns: a new commandment, 若 and Jehovah leads. Were reminded that we need to commit ourselves to any relationship so that it will grow, hence the need for yf, to also spend more time with each other. We are also encouraged by the fact that God who is in control of all things watches over us and leads us along, that whatever happens in 2010, He will lead :)

Then we played this gross game: passing the ketchup & write the memorized verse. yuck..
We passed the ketchup along from finger to finger and the last person wrote it down..
Feeling grossed out, some of us decided to take 'revenge' by ketchuping the organisers jiemin n jiaying, haha, so they got quite a considerable amt of ketchup on their arms. adrian got lots of it on his arms somehow too haha.

After clearing up, we played captain's ball - males handicapped version (2 males binded at one of each's leg to another's) It was hilarious cause guowei always slips out of the binding and causes kichi to fall and...lin chung & ri xi VS guowei & kichi ended up as a TAUPOK session hahaha.

Then came the cooking part. Our group's first fire was a fail..cause it was not self sustainable. Fortunately, we got the help of guardsmen chua! Learnt a lot from him on how to set up a fire. (I do not bother to do so outfield because of the issue with being tactical and the hassle, so I usually settle for biscuits and fruit bars.) One epic thing happened...I realised that marshmellows could burn! Along the way, we cooked different styles of fried rice, our grp kicked off with lingzhi style then huiling style fried rice.. there were lots of chicken wings, hotdogs, veggie & chilli fish. junwei came up with his world's best fish and noodle heh. (the fish was really good though :)

After the cooking most people left after the clearing up. Then we played frisbee, kicked the soccer ball around..and! --- slid down a ~30m slope on cardboards which disintegrated at increasing [d(tearing)/d(time)].. I only became interested in it when i went up the hill to grab the key from jiemin to go back into the residence with xinghui, but lol, i got too hooked up in sliding down haha. so xinghui joined us too after he was sian diao from waiting for me hahaha. I think tian meng or yu en is the best slider. Got lots of little grass cuts due to multiple failures..felt really itchy and prickly..
So we guessed its best that we go home at this point while some of the guys went ahead with their plans to play LAN..

It was a fun day, through the cooking, I got to work together and communicate more
with brothers and sisters.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, I think I will restart blogging so that I will be able to remember things better and sometimes I just need a platform for me to write out and sort out my thoughts, my blogging will still be on sort of an occasional basis.

Was feeling kinda upset just now that I would be doing duty tmr so I cannot go for sunday worship. I am thankful for having a brother who has often been my mirror, he shot a question at me, "why?" It did make me think for sometime before I organised my thoughts about why I desire congregational worship and it sort of reflected my selfishness in my desire of the worship of God. After all, although it is a joy to come together with brothers and sisters for worship and fellowship, the centre and object of worship is God Himself and giving Him the glory He deserves is the purpose of worship.
Other than congregational worship on sunday, a life of worship as we walk according to the spirit and in newness of life ought to be what we strive for.
For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of Christ and those whom he called will be justified and glorified. A life that is yielded to Christ to be transformed to be conformed to the likeness of Christ Himself is a life of worship.
The crux of the issue here is the heart for true worship to attain the aim of glorifying God by being worshippers in spirit and in truth.

God wants us to submit to the authority which He has established in this world, thus it is my duty to submit. I ought to be submissive and not feel disgruntled. On the other hand, it ought to be my joy to lead a life of worship.

A Christian's life is one of joy!
Reason being it is one of faith, one of hope and of unfathomable love.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God. (pasalms 42:11)

my circumstances are not as dire as the psalmists and it is not presecution or oppression that I meet with, but similarly, when I ask myself why am I downcast, my reply should be the same --- there is no reason to feel as such! For my hope is in God, the work of salvation and the presence of God gives me peace.