But as for me, I shall sing of Your strength;
Yes, I shall joyfully sing of Your lovingkindness in the morning,
For You have been my stronghold
And a refuge in the day of my distress.
O my strength, I will sing praises to You;
For God is my stronghold, the God who shows me lovingkindness.Psalms 59:16-17
This has been a delayed post I guess. I wish to recount God's blessings upon me this past year, however my memory is limited and I must state here that God's grace infinitely exceeds what can be recounted here!
ORD
By God's grace, He has safely led me through 2 years of NS. I really thank God for this experience for one particular lesson - learning to fight. It was the first time in my life which I was exposed to combat training. It was totally another level compared to physical training. While the targets engaged were not real, I do believe that the training is purposeful and it was also training me mentally for the time when it really calls for the need to fight. To fight for what I stand for and those whom I love. NS has taught me to be tougher in my mental state. While this was good, there was also a hidden pitfall in this - to rely on my own strength. There were times when I thought about the possibility of war. We cannot deny the possibility entirely however remote it may seem because God is in control of all and we have seen time and time again how events beyond the norm can happen in 2011: Shelling of South Korea, Uprising in Libya and other Arab Nations, fall of economies etc.
It was at some point in time in NS that I realised, what I stand for, what I train for is of no practical use to change the eternal decree of God. That includes protecting my loved ones. I came to realise that while while I had the responsibility to protect, I had absolutely practically zero ability to do so. This is beyond human. It was in NS then that I encountered situations which I was unable to change that I learned the lesson of persisting in prayer. I thank God that He has taught me this lesson. My fighting spirit in crisis was all channeled into prayer. I started praying much much more.
I also thank God for giving me the opportunity to lead men. While NS showed me the darkest sides of humanity, I also learned to stand for God in such circumstances. I learned humility in a leadership position, I learned how to build trust and gain respect. By God's grace, I have grown and emerged a stronger man.
Mum's fall
It was somewhere in april or may when my mum had a fall at home. I just came back from work (at advent law corporation then) and was bathing, it was then that my I heard a loud scream and thud. I quickly dried myself up and exited the bathroom and to my horror my mum laid there on the ground face up with a spit bowl of rice on the floor. We could not move her because she had injured the back of her neck and so we called for the ambulance. I really thank God that He has been gracious to let me and my sis be at home at that point in time. I could not have imagined what would be the outcome if we were not. I really really thank God that I was able to be there.
God also provided us with a maid after this incident to help out with the chores. After mum's stay in the hospital, she actually gained some weight, to our delight! It was also in hospital and the community hospital that my mum witnessed for the LORD fervently. She was not good in inviting her friends over the phone to come for gospel meetings but I always remember this phrase she said, "it must be that I have not prayed enough." A statement which reflects humbling truth from one who absolutely depends on the LORD. Thus, she takes every opportunity she gets when she was out there to speak to others of the gospel and Jesus Christ and even led one lady to Christ :) Praise the LORD!
Entering university
Education has always been a headache for me. I do not know what to study, do not enjoy studying. My greatest achievement in studies came in attaining 7 As for O levels. I remember how I was driven by fear of my poor results of L1R5 scores of 30 and 20 in my sch exams and prelims respectively. Now I look at the trophy on my shelf, I feel like it is a sign of reproach rather than my glory. God sees the heart and not my outward works. If I should get a chance to share about studies with younger ones in my house, I will smash the trophy right in front of their eyes. I really hope that my sis or other younger brethren will not follow in my footsteps, studying for the fear of poor results, which is simply in fact love for self. I also studied for good results so that I could enter JC then uni, I believed that results were a guarantee to a better future, how wrong I was! It was unbelief at its peak!
Entering NTU with my A level results was purely God's grace to say the least. After my O levels, before attempting A levels, I remember my prayer to God.
"God, do not let my get good results if it should cause me to become proud."
I started to genuinely struggle with my motivations for studying. I realised a great evil that in my heart even what motivates me to change for the better...could be evil itself! What a great contradiction!
My heart is indeed deceitful and wicked above all things.
Having my motivations changed, having made the goal to study for God's glory. I found myself becoming more laid back. I lose the drive which I formerly had. This still is a struggle which I face. I believe it is due to the fact that I give in to my flesh rather than disciplining it. Sem 1 was really crappy and I really need to buck up big time from sem 2 onwards. God tested my faith big time before my final examinations by giving me a fever 4 days before my exams. That period of time was what I called the rate determining step (rds) in a chemical reaction, it was crucial. I think I failed that test of faith because I had already given up mentally although I still did revision when I got better. It was tough for me not to have a grumbling Spirit but I thank God that He has in His providence allowed me to go through a Bible study lesson on the book of numbers (Israel at the waters of Meribah) to learn not to complain against God because it is putting ourselves above the sovereignty of God. At the very least, God showed me the state of my spiritual life and my faith. There is much repentance to be done!
Thank God for His guidance especially through the start of uni despite not going for camps, he provided me with a comfy group of guy friends to study and hang out with :)
Grandpa's op
My grandpa also had a fall at home earlier this year and went for an op to insert a steel plate to his hip bone. It was hard on his aged and feeble body..My family visited him and prayed for him on the day he went for his op. I also remember vividly how I visited him on the night after his op, my aunts had already left the hospital because grandpa was resting and under the effects of morphine. I remember how he awoke from the effects of morphine, only to experience immense and searing pain. I could tell from his eyes. He was tortured. It was the 2nd most torturous experience in my life, only second to see my dad pass on before my eyes. Yet both experiences were close to my heart and brought about thanksgiving for I had experienced the LORD's mercy and lovingkindness in such a real manner, through prayer. Again, desperate pleas for deliverance of grandpa were uttered. It was getting late, it was a sat night and I was also starting to feel very cold. Somehow, once again prayer became a fighting against my own will. I thank the LORD that He gave me submission in my heart to give up a strong sense of possesion of grandpa and entrusted him wholly to the hands of God. Grandpa survived. I do believe that God has a purpose for sustaining him and I pray that family members will continue to see the hand of God working amidst us and ultimately bow the knee to Christ and place their faith in Him alone.
Youth Ministry
Ministry is definitely an area which has seen the hand of God at work, even in guiding each and every comm member to serve Him more. Here is 2011's ministry report:
Youth Fellowship is a ministry devoted to shepherding the youths toward sincere faith and deeper walk with the Lord. We thank God for His unfailing providence and guidance throughout 2011 where we were able to conduct weekly meeting for the youths to fellowship with God and one another. The weekly Saturday meetings which begin at 3.30 pm usually consist of bible studies as well as occasional outdoor activities and fellowship lunch. In 2011, we have invited several teachers to conduct bible studies on 1 Peter, as well as Matthew 6:9-15 and discussed a range of topics including the greatness of salvation, submission to human authorities, submission in the family, youth-parents relationship, perseverance in trials and sufferings, the role of elders in shepherding the church, as well as the attitudes of prayer. In addition, Pastor Soon Yong delivered three theological sessions on the doctrine of election and showed the youth the enormity of God’s grace and His Sovereignty over the salvation of man. Brother Wah Tuck who has been involved in the Philippine mission, kindly shared with the youth his experience in the mission work and what the Lord has done in the churches planted in Philippines. The youth also watched a video which portrayed the life of the great missionary to India, William Carey. Through our brother’s sharing and the reflection on the biography of William Carey, we hope that the youth would be motivated to take part in the mission work in Philippines or other overseas regions through prayers and other means.
The meetings and activities of the Youth Fellowship are all planned and organised by a committee consisting of 2 teachers and 7 youth group leaders. Besides the bible studies conducted by teachers, the youth group leaders were also given the opportunities to lead bible studies and discussion through four gatherings in homes. In addition to the fellowship meetings organized by the Chinese session, a number of the youth were also exposed to other bible study group, such as the NUS bible study group led by Pastor Soon Yong, and participated in various church events such as the Teen-Youth Camp in June, Women & Men Conference in September. The constant exposure to the word and bible study in variety of gatherings has helped the youth to grow deeper in their walk with God. We rejoice to see more and more youth serving in church ministries or events and even taking up varying level of responsibilities. The Lord has put a keen spirit in these young men and women to be His instruments to encourage and disciple their younger brethren to follow Christ. It is our prayer that the Lord would guide us with spiritual wisdom and power to be intentional in discipling the youth to live a true faith and deeper walk with Christ.
As a great majority of the youth followed their parents to church since young, many of them struggled with doubts and assurance about their salvation. In December, 24 youth were challenged to examine their faith during the biannual family camp. We ended 2011 with a 2 days 1 night Youth Retreat for about 40 youth at Pasir Ris Holiday Camp. Besides providing a relaxed atmosphere for the youth to develop friendship especially with the newly promoted youth, Pastor Soon Yong was invited to share his own experience growing up as a church kids and his pastoral advice to them. We pray that the seeds of word that have been implanted in the young souls will lead them to eternal joy in the presence of our Saviour and Lord.
Indeed, we have taste and see that the LORD is good, His lovingkindness is everlasting!
May the Lord be magnified and glorified in our thanksgiving of all the good works that He done in our lives!
Praise the LORD, that although the tempter lures me through trials and temptations, the LORD is my stronghold and by His grace, I will always look toward Him in faith for Him to show me lovingkindness which endures forever.
