mere words

"..no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." 
(James 3:8) 


Funny how what is seemingly the least of the tangible could actually cause the deepest wound of the intangible soul. Funny how its those who are closest to you who can cause that wound. Funny how its them who know how to and want to do so. Funny how...that's also me.

still using scolding as a means to vent anger. childish

and then you walk away

Tonight's BS was breath taking, my pen just stopped in its tracks. Every teaching simply sank straight into my heart and penetrated every barrier between. 


Then Balaam arose and departed and returned to his place (meaning vocation), and Balak also went his way. (Numbers 24:25)


I saw what pastor sy saw, I saw a great and heinous evil, one which seemed impossible ... it was in me as well. I thought to myself, hey, that's me. Time seemed to stop as I saw how Balaam simply just walked away. What nonchalance, what desperate wickedness, within me. 


Earlier on in the day, I acknowledge the LORD's holiness and I prayed for grace, knowing also that the LORD will discipline. I was greatly humbled in the manner which God spoke to me today. A lesson that I will never forget, of God's grace and His omnipotence. Praise the LORD, my saviour and redeemer. Guide me on the path of sanctification, purge me from sin, let me be content and learn to rejoice in You, be satisfied in You, to fear You, to love You, to glorify You.


'Everything that has happened to you is a blessing.' 
That was it, the issue I was facing was contentment.  

We know nothing of Christ's love

And He appointed the twelve: Simon (to whom He gave the name Peter), and James, the son of Zebedee, and John the brother of James (to them He gave the name Boanerges, which means, “Sons of Thunder”); and Andrew, and Philip, and Bartholomew, and Matthew, and Thomas, and James the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus, and Simon the Zealot; and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Him. (Mark 3:16-19)


From Mark 1-3, I made some observations which startled me. Firstly, Christ's first advent was totally an initiative of the sovereign God. This is also evident in the calling of His disciples. I noticed how the author made special mention of those whom He called. They were named and for some, their brief genealogy was mentioned, even their character! Here lies a very strong contrast to how others were being mentioned, those being healed or freed from evil spirits. 


In the passage above, it once again showed me that God's love for us is truly above all and incomprehensible. Christ's love for man is of the highest order. According to my limited human knowledge, Christ's love is the pinnacle of what we comprehend of love itself.


1) He loved us to the extent that He was willing to die for us.
One way of determining the extent of your love for someone else is the degree to which you are willing to sacrifice yourself for the benefit of the other party. Christ emptied Himself for us, as written in the book of philipians. He loved and died for the unworthy.


2) He loved us despite His foreknowledge, He loved despite even betrayal
I know this is grammatically erroneous but yea. In the passage of scripture above and in fact in mark's previous records, mark penned the fact that Christ knew the hearts of all men. But the record on Judas Iscariot invoked a flurry of emotions within me. Shock, anger, joy, thanksgiving altogether. But it does not really matter how I feel about this, its not the point. God has been extremely gracious to choose each and every christian, despite knowing the state of us today, what we have become, how we will become. He loves us despite. 


"Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies. If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know; but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him."




LORD, teach me to hear your Word, fear you and love you.

God designed it this way

"  Many a man rues the differences between himself and his wife, especially as they are magnified by sin.Why does she like to shop for hours when it only takes a few minutes to buy what she needs? Why does she always want to talk about our relationship? Why doesn't she like my solutions, preferring instead to dwell on the problems? Why is it so hard to communicate and why is it sometimes difficult to get along?

  Even apart from considerations of sin, the answer to all these questions is "God designed it this way." How helpful is it to know why and how God made the woman for man! The simple fact is that God did not design marriage to be like a group of guys hanging out. All men is some pizza and a decent game to play or watch, and we can be pals. But throw in a woman and everything becomes so much harder. (It works the other way, too, although feminine society seems much more complicated.) Why, oh why? Because God intended it this way. God wants us as men to learn to give, serve, and love similar to the way He gives, serves and loves. we were made to bear His image, after all, and the main classroom in which a christian man learns to be like this heavenly Father is in the school of marriage."

-"The Masculine Mandate", Richard D. Phillips

God is not like anything

Majesty unspeakable, my soul desires to behold Thee. I cry to Thee from the dust. 
Yet when I inquire after Thy name it is secret. Thou art hidden in the light which no man can approach unto. What Thou art cannot be thought or uttered, for Thy glory is ineffable.


Still, prophet and psalmist, apostle and saint have encouraged me to believe that I may in some measure know Thee. Therefore, I pray, whatever of Thyself Thou hast been pleased to disclose, help me to search out as treasure more precious than rubies or the merchandise of fine gold: for with Thee shall I live wen the stars of the twilight are no more and the heavens have vanished away and only Thou remainest. Amen.
-A.W Tozer


What a low view I have of God, to lower Him to think that He is like creation.
Indeed, I cannot know Him except through the way which He has ordained, Jesus Christ.
Downplay all your confidence in intellect and effort, but look to Him in faith and love.
LORD, it is truly a joy to behold and delight in You through your Word. 
And in Your divine attributes, in You yourself I find rest. I repent.