experience

A person gains others' respect not through what experiences one has gone through,
but rather through what one has gained through it.

I am a nazirite!

Always remember who you are, Nazirite.
Always remember who you stand for AND against.
Most importantly, remember who keeps you on track.

fatigue

Sin is infinite pain and insult to
an infinitely holy and loving God.

I need to pick myself up.

bad skin weeks

Ah cool, I have finally gotten over the last outfield activity for the Basic military training (BMT) phase which is situational test which consists of a 12km route march and 6 missions to complete each day (x2). Quite interesting as it tested a soldier's ability to think and respond quickly, we JC students are really less versatile in this area..(most of the time). Ah I'd rather sleep in the shell scrape looking up at the tall trees swaying to the wind above me and enjoy the unblocked view of the sky filled with beautiful stars THAN sleeping in a basha tent (which I did in sit test) near the shore, where there is no wind cause of the land breeze, I was perspiring while I tried to sleep, sighh. This time round after sit test, I developed a rash yet again! Think it was more of sandfly bites which spread due to scratching and caused some bacterial infection, doc gave me antibiotics and a jab in the butt which made me feel REALLY drowsy, I could not even walk in a straight line to the bus stop when I exited the hospital (had to visit a hosp since it was a public hol)

Anyway, life back at company (coy) line was slacker this week cause I was excused from uniform, I only participated in some physical training on the last 2 days of the week when my rash recovered about 70% and most of the open wounds closed up - which would have otherwise caused some pain if I perspire during PT.

Had a NE visit on fri at Discovery Centre, the most interesting part was at the army museum where we got a saw a vid how the armed forces could be deployed:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAUe83JPeW0
with PHYSICAL effects as well! They had a giant fan overhead which blew at us when the chopper lifeted off (we were in an air conditioned room -_-), flashed from the muzzer of the tank model beside the screen when the tanks in the vid fired off, water sprinkled on us when the troops landed from the hovercraft X_X lolllll So, it was fun :)

Crazy

Thank God I survived field camp!
I actually participated in playing musical chairs at jeff's b'day yesterday, unbelievably insane...
Highlight is still today though,
Kangting: We have a new friend today,the guy behind andrew, welcome...
'The guy' looks up..
Its wen hao with a botak head LOL!!!

Bleh connection problems again.

Love was never meant to be selfish, though inevitable it may seem.

YF!

Training to be soldiers,
we fight for our lands
once in our lives
two years of our time,
have you ever wondered
why must we serve?
Because we love our lands,
because we love our Singapore!

Had yf today again, was a workshop on studying the Bible. I thought it was good especially because we had a chance to really go deep into discussion about the Word of God in small groups, which is quite rare. It was also quite surprising for me that when we came together to come up with the main theme of a passage from the scriptures, there were so many variations and interpretations!
At the end of the day though, we had our concept of the importance of context reinforced as it determined the usage and meaning of words together with the neccessity to recognize that the truths of the Bible are corroborative of each other and not in self contradiction.
After YF, we went to commonwealth to have dinner to give thanks for Sean's b'day and had good fellowship! Had some good food, I should switch to having some 'normal standard' food tomorrow to make a smoother transition back to camp food :P
Chung is booking out next week!

The darker it gets, the greater the need to shine.

2 weeks slogged by

Thank God I endured the 2 weeks of confinement.
There were a whole lot of adjustments to be made mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically!
My time of sleep and reveille, meals, defecation (ok i specially looked up a polite term for shit) blah blah blah.. Sometimes when my mind is still alert after lights off, or earlyyy in the morning I would feel a pang of sadness cause bookout seems to far away and a day seems so long!
Maybe its due to the fact that I stay up for like 17 hours per day V_V
Its really a test of endurance and I am glad that I hung on by reminding myself of God's word and acknowledging Him in my ways as much as I could, trying my best not to lose focus and resign to a 'fall by the wayside' attitude. I am really glad because I reckoned that God was the only solution and the Almighty who could provide for and sustain me at all times & I really must give thanks that He brought me through everything.

My section is kinda interesting, its really a chapalang maybe due to the fact that I am in the last plat and sec in the coy. Got china guy, indian guy, malay guy, typical singaporeans, french guy by descent, 2 other guys who studied in aussie for most of their lives. Multiracial indeed!

I am kinda surprised that I am not down with cough or fever cause by the end of 2 weeks the status personnel could already form a 5th plat, LOL! Just have mousquito bites, bedbug bites and misc bug bites all over my arms and legs ><>
Psalms 3
O LORD, how many are my foes!
How many rise up against me!

Many are saying of me,
"God will not deliver him."

But you are a shield around me, O LORD;
you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.

To the LORD I cry aloud,
and he answers me from his holy hill.

I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.

I will not fear the tens of thousands
drawn up against me on every side.

Arise, O LORD!
Deliver me, O my God!
Strike all my enemies on the jaw;
break the teeth of the wicked.

From the LORD comes deliverance.
May your blessing be on your people.


Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

The great internal conflict

My soul desires to break free of its fetters, but doubt and fear seems to form an insurmountable barrier before me. My mind tells me I've got this thorn deep down in my flesh but the Spirit whispers "my grace is sufficient". I have failed to overcome this so many times before that fear has blinded my eyes and sorrow has caused my mental strength to wane and withered my weakly throbbing heart, robbing even the clarity and coherence of proper expression.
Will you pray for me please, brothers and sisters?

I remember

There was once when I made a prayer to God,
it was some time ago.
He heard and He showed me His way and thought.

I ought not to feel downcast but submit for He heard.

Ishmael!

Be still

Because man think of the infinite God as a finite being with our limited mind,
man often fail to trust and depend upon Him.
Man has crafted the image of God,
failing to instead seek and pursue it.
Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. Philipians 3:19

I have learnt that the truth of God's infinitude is important yet sometimes unfathomable.
However, as it is written:
"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"
but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.
For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him?
In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.
1 Corinthians 2:9-11

I craved for knowledge to still my turbulent soul which was constantly challenged by questions.
[From: The knowledge of the Holy --A.W Tozer]
Then I realised that God can be known by the soul in tender personal experience while remaining infinitely aloof from the curious eyes of reason, constituting a paradox best described as:
Darkness to the intellect,
but sunshine to the heart.
Frederick W. Faber

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Matthew 5:8

"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalms 46:10

reality sinks in..

lain tells me loads of really funny stuff abt life in sch which is extremely wacky.
I randomly shot a statement: "I take lots of water breaks."
lain: "That's your highlight of the day?"
So I started try to be less oblivious to my work life today and I realised, my work is really that boring.
Ok, I ought not to grumble.
Was really kinda interested to adopt the idea which tian meng proposed of switching jobs, haha!
So, yesterday we went over to send xu qi off to adelaide. Wa she's quite fortunate to have her parents to accompany her for one month to settle things for her :)
Lots of brothers & sisters going overseas for studies and exchanges, hope I do get a chance to go for exchanges in the future as well, I wanna see the world.

溺爱不是爱
溺爱是将自己的意愿加在他人身上
溺爱是强迫。

im feeling v_v

Swords slipping through the sheaths, behind enemy lines.
Is the intended outcome of this series of trials such a strong perseverance which requires such an overwhelming amount of pressure to mould?

Remove whatever's shrouding my eyes, Lord. May these not be in vain.

Happy CNY :)

I can't believe my cousins started playing 'xi niu nai' today...(direct literal translation-wash milk)

Quote of the day:
jfls: ...the Israelites shoes were not worn out even after walking through the desert for 40 years..
adrian: The Isrealites must have worn 'Everlast' shoes.

FALLS OFF CHAIR

bei fake x2

Went out of house in a rarely relaxed mood for work today, everything was fine all the way till I reached the bus stop at kallang mrt. I rummaged through my pencil case's back compartment where I recalled having placed my thumbdrive. Alas!! It was not there..:(
Then I recalled that I placed it elsewhere. GG.
My thumbdrive is my lifeline! It stores all my updated work.
Bleh so I took the bus to sch anyway, fortunately I had stored my data in a temp folder, but its slightly outdated, got my boss to send me my most updated copy (with much embarassment of course.)

A while ago, I went outta home to do something I never did of my own accord in a long long time...jog! Went to the stadium, visited the loo, came out, lights went off, man annouced, the stadium is closed!! -__-
Not bad I managed to discipline myself + without chui-ing for 37 mins =)
The acid within me felt like it was gonna overflow though when I trained sprinting up the slope n jogging down T.T

Genesis 16:11
The angel of the LORD also said to her: "You are now with child and you will have a son. You shall name him Ishmael, for the LORD has heard of your misery.
Genesis 16:13
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me." That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi ; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered.

Genesis 18:13-14
Then the LORD said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' Is anything too hard for the LORD ? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son."
Genesis 21:3
Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him.(Isaac means he laughs . )

The same God who hears, sees and fufills; yet two vastly different reactions,
one who dismisses and disdains, the other who sees.
What a contrast!
With which attitude do you receive God's word?

out of the PINK...

and out of the ARMY!
Haha presenting to you ling chung and hong en, taken during eric and kristine's wedding.
Totally random, hopefully I get a chance to take another one at clifton's wedding, this time with myself having the same hairstyle as chung as well =P

F = m(-a)

Its nonsensical and insulting to make God 'a part of our lives',
but it makes perfect sense and we are obligated to dedicate our whole life to God, our creater and Lord of our lives. Don't go about it the other way round.

Fares are not fair!

To a part time worker like me, travelling around frequently...HURTS!
Ever since the sound produced when I tap my ez-link card changed from 'toot-toot' to 'toot', the balance on my card has been decreasing rapidly.
Sigh, normally transport fares each day can hit $3-4.
There's youth outdoor next sat and SS class 'posting' should be out tomorrow =P

Wishing all a happy and blessed new year =)

My hope is that in this year, brothers and sisters will be like minded in our spiritual pursuit and support each other and watch over one other on the journey eternal.

Colossians chapter 1

3 We give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you, 4 since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of your love for all the saints; 5 because of the hope which is laid up for you in heaven, of which you heard before in the word of the truth of the gospel, 6 which has come to you, as it has also in all the world, and is bringing forth fruit, as it is also among you since the day you heard and knew the grace of God in truth;

9 For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;
11 strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy;
12 giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. 13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, 14 in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins. 15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. 17 And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence.

May the church grow in our faith, hope and love.
May the church know more about who He was, is and will be;
of Him who declares "I am who I am",
the only constant, absolute, everlasting, faithful, one and only true triune God.
May the church know more of the greatness of who He is -- El Shaddai &
truely know what He has done, that are such great sacrifices precisely because of his inifinite greatness.
May the church progress from being the firstborn from the dead to being the lamp which burns fervently for Him to leave the shallow shores, to move from a common faith, to a common love for Him and one another, and finally to converge in the very essence of who HE is.

In Jesus Christ's name I pray, Amen