I'm weary.
When it all boils down to this,
to the point where philosophy turns into a mere facade,
the logical and rational mind is forsaken,
a human would choose pride.
How indescribably ugly the human nature can be.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
peng-ded
Initially I wanted to blog about the valuable lessons today but I really have no mood to do that now, so I'll just enter a short post.
Many special thanks to those who've helped for general cleaning today:
Tian Meng, Kang Ting, Li mei laoshi, Pei hua lao shi, Le Yi, Shu Qi, Yi Ling, Hui Min, Jie Yu, Shu Yi, Adrian, Qiao En, Yi Liang, Jie Min, Jia Ying, Zi Xin.
Do drop by to say hi if ya read this!
When my own thoughts fill me instead of yours, when my frustration and anger overtakes my rational mind, my heart to live for you, forgive me Lord, empty me once more. When I develop an invisible resistance, when I think that I can't do anything to change the situation, when remoulding is impossible, break me Lord, down to the finest bits. Shatter me and let me bow humbly before you once more and hand everything over, my thoughts, my speech, my actions, my heart, my soul then re create me and mould me once more to become your suitable instrument, when it rains, even if it pours, even when the gusts so mightily blow, when destructive torrents of rain and the storm arrives...I'll not fall with a crash so great, though damaging it may seem but I'll remain standing upright, not because of the building, but the foundation, the rock, that is you Lord whose everlasting arms I have always under me to support me, beside me to lead me, above me to save me. Break me.
Many special thanks to those who've helped for general cleaning today:
Tian Meng, Kang Ting, Li mei laoshi, Pei hua lao shi, Le Yi, Shu Qi, Yi Ling, Hui Min, Jie Yu, Shu Yi, Adrian, Qiao En, Yi Liang, Jie Min, Jia Ying, Zi Xin.
Do drop by to say hi if ya read this!
When my own thoughts fill me instead of yours, when my frustration and anger overtakes my rational mind, my heart to live for you, forgive me Lord, empty me once more. When I develop an invisible resistance, when I think that I can't do anything to change the situation, when remoulding is impossible, break me Lord, down to the finest bits. Shatter me and let me bow humbly before you once more and hand everything over, my thoughts, my speech, my actions, my heart, my soul then re create me and mould me once more to become your suitable instrument, when it rains, even if it pours, even when the gusts so mightily blow, when destructive torrents of rain and the storm arrives...I'll not fall with a crash so great, though damaging it may seem but I'll remain standing upright, not because of the building, but the foundation, the rock, that is you Lord whose everlasting arms I have always under me to support me, beside me to lead me, above me to save me. Break me.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Thoughts amidst the drizzle
"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 5:43-48
I thought that I should appreciate not only the things I like, but also things that I would not like or desire.
Everything is worth giving thanks for and worthy of appreciation.
I was making my way home after dinner, after I alighted at my station, I strolled along the sheltered walkway all the way from queenstown mrt to the lift lobby under my HDB block 146. As I enjoyed the cool after-rain-breeze, I thought to myself, wouldn't it be nice if the weather was always so...cool (literally & figuratively).
Then God spoke to me in a simple manner again, also a 2nd time during quiet time when I pondered on the scriptures. (ref to top).
Rain or shine,
happiness or sorrow,
wealth or poverty,
Employed or jobless,
A grade or U grade,
Science stream or Arts stream,
life or death,
Even the breath I take now as I type these letters and alphabets, they all lie in God's Almighty hands
in His sovereign control.
Every event, even those which seem so insignificant and negligible has it's purpose to serve, has a lesson to teach and story to tell.
Let me be sober minded and unveil the big picture step by step, at your designated pace.
Matthew 5:43-48
I thought that I should appreciate not only the things I like, but also things that I would not like or desire.
Everything is worth giving thanks for and worthy of appreciation.
I was making my way home after dinner, after I alighted at my station, I strolled along the sheltered walkway all the way from queenstown mrt to the lift lobby under my HDB block 146. As I enjoyed the cool after-rain-breeze, I thought to myself, wouldn't it be nice if the weather was always so...cool (literally & figuratively).
Then God spoke to me in a simple manner again, also a 2nd time during quiet time when I pondered on the scriptures. (ref to top).
Rain or shine,
happiness or sorrow,
wealth or poverty,
Employed or jobless,
A grade or U grade,
Science stream or Arts stream,
life or death,
Even the breath I take now as I type these letters and alphabets, they all lie in God's Almighty hands
in His sovereign control.
Every event, even those which seem so insignificant and negligible has it's purpose to serve, has a lesson to teach and story to tell.
Let me be sober minded and unveil the big picture step by step, at your designated pace.
Monday, January 14, 2008
what a day...
As you can probably sense the lethargy of the title of this post, yea..today is kinda boring.
Somehow I didn't sleep well on Sunday night, quite some activity going on through my brain though I was sleeping, so I woke up to be quite tired too :(
That alone was enough to constitute a really restless day.
Survived through lessons with much difficulty and I'm not catching much stuff from econs lec, it appears to be very unorganised n random points here and there, I really have to confess at this point of time that econs is not my kinda subj..
After sch, I had quite a heavy lunch to satisfy my really hungry stomach and took bus 198 (SIAN), had a haircut before I went home. Feels good!
Just when I exited the barber shop, bAm! spppssshHHHH!
It was raining cats and dogs, [realised how hardcore it was when I reached home and looked from 20 storeys outwards---I could only see the nearest 1-2 blocks!!] I thought it would be ok but bleh the wind which was always changing direction owns. My umbrealla on effectively shielded my head along the way, footwear and half of my long pants soaked. Just when I went to a sheltered walkway and put my umbrella down, the wind changed it's direction again and whoosh, my face got wet too...I wanna sleep..
Maybe we all need some water in our face to wake us up in some point of time in life.
Somehow I didn't sleep well on Sunday night, quite some activity going on through my brain though I was sleeping, so I woke up to be quite tired too :(
That alone was enough to constitute a really restless day.
Survived through lessons with much difficulty and I'm not catching much stuff from econs lec, it appears to be very unorganised n random points here and there, I really have to confess at this point of time that econs is not my kinda subj..
After sch, I had quite a heavy lunch to satisfy my really hungry stomach and took bus 198 (SIAN), had a haircut before I went home. Feels good!
Just when I exited the barber shop, bAm! spppssshHHHH!
It was raining cats and dogs, [realised how hardcore it was when I reached home and looked from 20 storeys outwards---I could only see the nearest 1-2 blocks!!] I thought it would be ok but bleh the wind which was always changing direction owns. My umbrealla on effectively shielded my head along the way, footwear and half of my long pants soaked. Just when I went to a sheltered walkway and put my umbrella down, the wind changed it's direction again and whoosh, my face got wet too...I wanna sleep..
Maybe we all need some water in our face to wake us up in some point of time in life.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
hello to all out there!
Will be a random update of my current situation as requested by chans.
I must declare repetitively that I hate to travel!
This morning I set off from my house as usual at a few mins before 7am, which was scheduled so that I'll be just in time not to be late for school. Everything went smooth till the train reached dover at 7.16am, "Dear passengers, your attention please, the train to boon lay will be delayed due to a track fault". This message was broad casted for like over 5 times in ten minutes in ENGLISH, CHINESE MALAY and TAMIL. -______-"
So the train got stuck till 7.28am, moved on to clementi and the same message was broadcasted,
(this time I got a seat) I smacked my chemistry notes of carbonyl compounds into my face, yea it sure blackened.
When I reached school my ez-link card was confiscated too..caused me to miss class lunch with my new class s15 :( Were dismissed at 2pm and could only obtain my card at 3pm, so I took my time to have an emo lunch but fortunately got to chat with zhenghui over a drink for the last 15 torturous minutes before setting off to get our cards. He took the train at 6.20am from tiong and was late too! sad case.
Met samuel (j2) in the canteen too when we chatted a little and he told his campers that I was his ogl, lol must have made them think I retained for a year. But was good that he clarified it for during o2 heh.
Getting to know my class better now, so well, it's a good thing :)
Will be a more comfortable learning environment to be familiar to the class, heh.
To BASICs out there, please continue to pray for me to adapt!
Took bus service no. 198 home, the ride took approximately 40mins as usual...
Fortunately, I had zhenghui to accompany me again :D
BUT still,
I HATE to travel..(esp on bus, mrt is fine unless it's from pasir ris to boon lay)
It left me with a lingering headache.
Don't know how to end, but in this year my focus shall be to work a lot harder on self discipline.
Hi too all out there visiting my blog, do tag to say hi & have an awesome 2008.
byebye.
I must declare repetitively that I hate to travel!
This morning I set off from my house as usual at a few mins before 7am, which was scheduled so that I'll be just in time not to be late for school. Everything went smooth till the train reached dover at 7.16am, "Dear passengers, your attention please, the train to boon lay will be delayed due to a track fault". This message was broad casted for like over 5 times in ten minutes in ENGLISH, CHINESE MALAY and TAMIL. -______-"
So the train got stuck till 7.28am, moved on to clementi and the same message was broadcasted,
(this time I got a seat) I smacked my chemistry notes of carbonyl compounds into my face, yea it sure blackened.
When I reached school my ez-link card was confiscated too..caused me to miss class lunch with my new class s15 :( Were dismissed at 2pm and could only obtain my card at 3pm, so I took my time to have an emo lunch but fortunately got to chat with zhenghui over a drink for the last 15 torturous minutes before setting off to get our cards. He took the train at 6.20am from tiong and was late too! sad case.
Met samuel (j2) in the canteen too when we chatted a little and he told his campers that I was his ogl, lol must have made them think I retained for a year. But was good that he clarified it for during o2 heh.
Getting to know my class better now, so well, it's a good thing :)
Will be a more comfortable learning environment to be familiar to the class, heh.
To BASICs out there, please continue to pray for me to adapt!
Took bus service no. 198 home, the ride took approximately 40mins as usual...
Fortunately, I had zhenghui to accompany me again :D
BUT still,
I HATE to travel..(esp on bus, mrt is fine unless it's from pasir ris to boon lay)
It left me with a lingering headache.
Don't know how to end, but in this year my focus shall be to work a lot harder on self discipline.
Hi too all out there visiting my blog, do tag to say hi & have an awesome 2008.
byebye.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
yyxh '08
Psalms 122:1
I rejoiced with those who said to me,
"Let us go to the house of the LORD."
This verse totally describes my euphoria now, it is indeed true PEACE and JOY dervied from serving Jesus.
It's strong brotherhood(s) forged in the LORD, really experienced for myself again the true LOVE amongst brothers and sisters due to His love for us.
Agape referred to unconditional, sacrificial love which was also rational..
But, it seems more and more to me that His unconditional love is seemingly getting more and more unrational contrary to being rational..It's just too amazing
但求如愿更进一步，对主宝血越加认识，他为罪受死，甘受痛苦，为罪情愿作罪牺牲，
奇妙大爱怎能如此基督我神竟为我死，奇妙大爱怎能如此，基督我神竟为我死！
他曾离开天父宝座，广施恩典无限无量，虚己全倒空，仅剩了爱，无望罪人得蒙恩待，
奇妙仁慈白取不尽基督我神亲来救我，奇妙仁慈白取不尽，基督我神亲来救我！
我的心灵被罪捆缚，幽暗成性不得自由，被你圣眼睛，如光透视，闪烁光焰使灵苏醒，锁链脱落心灵释放躍身而起跟主前行，锁链脱落心灵释放，躍身而起跟主前行！
不用惧怕将来定罪，主已属我我已属主，活在主里面，他是首脑，穿戴圣洁公义白袍，
坦然无惧进到宝座因有耶稣便得冠冕，坦然无惧进到宝座，因有耶稣便得冠冕！
What I wanna express is that without God,
our gatherings, our fellowship, even all our relationships in church, even the church itself would be nothing, utterly meaningless.
Thank you Lord for leading us through hymns, guiding me through sharing, watching over us as we interact during games, being with us in everything we do in Your most precious Name.
I rejoiced with those who said to me,
"Let us go to the house of the LORD."
This verse totally describes my euphoria now, it is indeed true PEACE and JOY dervied from serving Jesus.
It's strong brotherhood(s) forged in the LORD, really experienced for myself again the true LOVE amongst brothers and sisters due to His love for us.
Agape referred to unconditional, sacrificial love which was also rational..
But, it seems more and more to me that His unconditional love is seemingly getting more and more unrational contrary to being rational..It's just too amazing
但求如愿更进一步，对主宝血越加认识，他为罪受死，甘受痛苦，为罪情愿作罪牺牲，
奇妙大爱怎能如此基督我神竟为我死，奇妙大爱怎能如此，基督我神竟为我死！
他曾离开天父宝座，广施恩典无限无量，虚己全倒空，仅剩了爱，无望罪人得蒙恩待，
奇妙仁慈白取不尽基督我神亲来救我，奇妙仁慈白取不尽，基督我神亲来救我！
我的心灵被罪捆缚，幽暗成性不得自由，被你圣眼睛，如光透视，闪烁光焰使灵苏醒，锁链脱落心灵释放躍身而起跟主前行，锁链脱落心灵释放，躍身而起跟主前行！
不用惧怕将来定罪，主已属我我已属主，活在主里面，他是首脑，穿戴圣洁公义白袍，
坦然无惧进到宝座因有耶稣便得冠冕，坦然无惧进到宝座，因有耶稣便得冠冕！
What I wanna express is that without God,
our gatherings, our fellowship, even all our relationships in church, even the church itself would be nothing, utterly meaningless.
Thank you Lord for leading us through hymns, guiding me through sharing, watching over us as we interact during games, being with us in everything we do in Your most precious Name.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
mixed feelings
Hope a short post will suffice summing up my feelings.
Really experienced God's presence right beside me through all that I'm going through now right from the start of new year, be it during quiet time, studying and especially during prayer.
He's really leading me by the hand :) really appreciate this closeness...^^
New class, now in s15 instead of s10, really DIFFICULT to adapt man..
New teachers totally new classmates and new faces..
only know hwee boon, sigh. It's gonna be tough.
They're not as diligent as s10 too, will be a challenge..
Whatever lies ahead, lead me O Lord.
Really experienced God's presence right beside me through all that I'm going through now right from the start of new year, be it during quiet time, studying and especially during prayer.
He's really leading me by the hand :) really appreciate this closeness...^^
New class, now in s15 instead of s10, really DIFFICULT to adapt man..
New teachers totally new classmates and new faces..
only know hwee boon, sigh. It's gonna be tough.
They're not as diligent as s10 too, will be a challenge..
Whatever lies ahead, lead me O Lord.
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