Post prelim mood vs pre A level mood,
I certainly hope that the former does not supersede the latter.
Through this prelims I have found out more about myself, I seem to be able to only concentrate on doing one thing well at a time and the bad thing is that I tend to neglect everything else to be pretty large extent.
Its really mentally taxing to be disciplined and to focus on doing something well and doing it to the best of your ability. Being a christian, it is all the more a necessity to be 'superhuman' to juggle all roles and have a good testimony. Its heavy.
Guilt vs reconciliation.
I have done this so many times before, hated myself, repented, relied on. Then the cycle repeats itself again.
The sheep strays from the flock.
It got discouraged of everything, the false exterior which is actually a total ruin, the body void of substance.
It began to delude itself, seeking solace elsewhere, seeking its other green pasture, seeking its own shelter foolishly,
by leaving it instead of tackling the root of the problem.
Grace vs abuse of grace.
I cannot hate myself more than the fact that I abuse grace consciously/unconsciously.
Whenever I survey that wondrous cross, my heart is beyond contrite.
I fail to understand why we can be stubborn in the face of sin, even boldly doing wrong things in His name.
Humans are blind.
Our guilt remains if we claim we are not blind, no wonder Jesus told the pharisees off in John 9.
We can be so defiant and defensive of ourselves, disgusting.
He can turn the tides and calm the angry sea,
He alone decides who writes a symphony.
He lights every star that makes our darkness bright,
He keeps watch all through each long and lonely night;
He still finds the time to hear a child's first prayer,
saint and sinner call will always find Him there.
Though it makes Him sad to see the way we live,
He'll always say "I forgive."
He can grant a wish or make a dream come true,
He can paint the clouds and turn the gray to blue.
He alone knows where to find the rainbow's end.
He alone can see what lies beyond the bend,
He can touch a tree and turn the leaves to gold,
He knows every lies that you and I have told,
Though it makes Him sad to see the way we live,
He'll always say "I forgive."
Yet he'll always forgive, will you turn?
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