fragile - handle with care

The NS experience has trained me to be mentally tougher, but at a certain cost.

I really do wonder what that is.

Unfair treatment and mental oppression or even abuse were meant for toughening us up to become men from boys. Thinking, making decisions, having the resolve and determination to strive towards our objectives under pressure was part of such a training process.

However, what is it that I have lost during this mental toughening? Have I just lost sensitivity or is it humanity itself? Is it selflessness which I have developed or selfishness?

Sometimes, it seems to me that I hurt others all too easily by what I do and even more through what I do not do. It seems though, however, that those who have gone through a harsher NS are more resilient in this aspect.

Are people unforgiving or oversensitive?

Or is it that I am insensitive and simply inhumane in my emotions in certain ways?

Whatever the case is, how I have hurt others, how others can misinterpret me -here is self counsel for myself:

may the love of Christ ever be my example to strive toward.